throughout my life i have been labeled as many different things. labeled as an outsider. labeled as a loner. labeled as an introvert. labeled as an extrovert. i have been construed as the un-popular. i have been thought of as talented. i have been classified as a brainiac... told i was stupid. i have been the life of the party and i have been the man standing off on his own. i have been the one with all the connections, all the friends. i have been the hub and the leaf.
them: "whats wrong? you are just standing there."
me: "nothing... just doing something different."
them: "but you are the guy with yellow glasses, the dancer, the partier, the first one to get the party going. you are tim.. you dont just stand there."
me: "not tonight. that isnt me."
in other times, places and situations... more classification. i am an "internet person". i am a "livejournal guy". i am a college grad. i am now a local.
sorry people. i am none of those things... and all of those things. i am me. take it or leave it. i just wish for once, someone would remember that. that someone would treat me the same if they met me online as if they would had they met me at a club or met me at an opera or the theatre or anywhere else.
i wish that i wouldn't be viewed as my halloween costume, or my sunglasses, or where i drink at, or who i hang out with. i wish that for once, i would be me.. not him... not you.. not tim... not anything except for the person that is standing or sitting in front of you, talking on the phone, typing to you online, or listening to you.
i wish i was just me. viewed as me. treated as me. thought of as me. apparently though, that is too much to ask. i can never just be me.
i will always be labeled by where i was met, who i am friends with, what i do for a living, who i hang out with, where i hang out, what i do in my free time, where i live, what i wear, how i speak, what i look like, who i look like, what i drive, what words i use, what way i walk, how i dance, where i dance, with whom i dance, who i kiss, who i fuck, who i love, who i hate, and anything else that people care to think up.
i am not a label. i am not where i am met. i am not a category. i deserve more than that. everyone deserves more than that. there is only one label in life.. dead or alive.