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Sep. 18th, 2001 | 07:04 pm

i feel alone. kathy is gone and i am sitting on the floor looking at the couch. on the couch i can still see the indentation of where she last sat. i walk into my bedroom and pick up the pillow she used... can still smell her scent.

so now i sit here, not wanting to touch the couch... not wanting to disturb the last reminance that i have of her being here...

i hold on to the stuffed whale she gave me a long time ago... and cry.

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Comments {16}

helena.

(no subject)

from: tootsie_roll
date: Sep. 18th, 2001 07:40 pm (UTC)
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aww ... poor kid.

don't be sad. you guys will be together again soon.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Sep. 18th, 2001 07:41 pm (UTC)
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actually.. no we wont. :-(

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helena.

Re:

from: tootsie_roll
date: Sep. 20th, 2001 08:26 am (UTC)
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oh.

well, just remember the good times you had.

that should bring a smile to yer face.

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Winnie

(no subject)

from: festiva
date: Sep. 18th, 2001 08:59 pm (UTC)
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*hug* treasure the time you had together and the memories. you guys are lucky to have each other.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 06:23 pm (UTC)
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yeah.. it is just sad that it is memories now.

damn 2500 miles. :(

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dreamland

(no subject)

from: dreamland
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 09:09 pm (UTC)
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ya, damn those 2500 miles!

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(no subject)

from: bebha
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 03:21 pm (UTC)
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i'm sorry love.

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dreamland

(no subject)

from: dreamland
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 06:03 pm (UTC)
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i love you sweety. *hugs* i've got my sunshine to hold tight, but it's not the same waking up finding my legs tangled up w/ yours... silly tim trying to bite my fingers when i poke your nose. =P

i miss you. *kissies*

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 06:23 pm (UTC)
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*hug*

maybe you will find someone as great as me in seattle...

on second thought.. is that possible? ;)

hehe
j/k :-P

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dreamland

Re:

from: dreamland
date: Sep. 19th, 2001 06:34 pm (UTC)
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lol. silly butt. =P hehe.

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thought

from: banter
date: Sep. 23rd, 2001 12:15 pm (UTC)
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miles and distance only exist as measurements...

both intangible and equally excusable.

i hope all goes well for you two (but then again, i am just the weirdo poking her nose in other people's business)

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Tim

Re: thought

from: visions
date: Sep. 23rd, 2001 01:56 pm (UTC)
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that is why these things are public. :-P

while i agree that distance is a measurement, it is also much more than that. an analogy could be made to a dog. for instance, a dog is most notably known as "man's best friend" but yet at the same time it serves other purposes and has other benefits as well. it is a companion, it is a guardian (or guard.. however you look at it), it is a pet, and sometimes it is even a family member. it isnt something that is needed, but is something that is typically enjoyable to have.

now flip the coin. a seeing eye dog can be a necessity, without it you could have impassible barriers.

but anyway... enough of that. :)

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Re: thought

from: banter
date: Sep. 23rd, 2001 05:08 pm (UTC)
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i think it is just what you allow it to be. to the person with an authority complex, distance can be seen as a challenge and thus treated like a competitor. to the heartsick/codependent person, distance can be life or death. to the person who accepts reality as it is, distance is just another inevitable occurrance of everyday life, and should be accepted as it comes.

it's all in perception, not definition :) good analogy with the dog...

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Tim

Re: thought

from: visions
date: Sep. 23rd, 2001 07:01 pm (UTC)
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well, distance can be all of the above at the same time as well.

with me, i consider a relationship to be something that means a lot. in that light, i want to spend as much time with my significant other as is possible. i want to be able to hold them if i need/want to or just feel like it. i want to be able to turn around and be able to give them a hug. i like to be able to talk to them for hours and at times just sit there and enjoy each others company without any words. i like being able to fall asleep next to the person i care about and wake up to see them in the morning. there is a lot more than that.. but its silly to type it all out.

the point of the matter, distance eliminates nearly all of that and weakens what the relationship *can* be. It doesnt make it any less necesarily, but it does make it different. That difference is something that I dont like.

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Re: thought

from: banter
date: Sep. 23rd, 2001 10:39 pm (UTC)
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i think i am going to cry now :(

how utterly romantic

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Tim

Re: thought

from: visions
date: Sep. 24th, 2001 08:02 am (UTC)
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I view it more in a tragic light than a romantic one. it is hard to be able to say that distance is a strong enough thing to keep you from the person that you love. Or to say that distance has that much power.

What I want, or who I am, may be romantic... but with that comes the flip side of the coin. I can't have what I want anymore, at least not with the person who I shared that with before. That is tragedy.

The end of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet comes to mind. To commit and devote yourself to being with someone to the extent that you are willing to take your own life for them. Due to lifes' twists that other person not knowing what your plan was.. so stricken by the affair and so committed in their love, takes his own life just to be back with you. Moments later, you awaken to find your lover dead in your arms... and in turn take your own life to join him.

Perhaps the most romantic, yet most tragic event you could possibly describe... but parallels this quite well in concept, but not in action.

On a happier note though, life has to go on. Her and I will remain great friends and continue on with our lives. It is possible that some day, things will change with distance or worries... but if not, then life will go on.

In afterthought, I have not lost anything with Kathy leaving. I still have her love, her heart, and our memories. I know she walks away with the same.

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