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Feb. 5th, 2001 | 03:57 am
mood: still crying

now... I must try to sleep.

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Comments {13}

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from: ex_liz007117
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 02:17 am (UTC)
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Peaceful, sweet dreams to you. And never underestimate the resilience of the human spirit. You can conquer this...but please get help if you need it.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:25 am (UTC)
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there is more than meets the eye. it isn't my heart that has me so sad.

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dreamland

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from: dreamland
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 02:20 am (UTC)
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you close your eyes and walk away...

but an imprint of your soul remains embedded deeply in my heart. i will never forget you... ever a day as time plunges forward...

i will never forget you. and now my future draws blank. not much more to live for, but to let time hurry on it's merrily way... until one day it will consume my flesh and blood too.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:26 am (UTC)
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you will live much longer than i. if you dont, ill kick your ass. :(

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(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:19 am (UTC)
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i'm just reading my friends journals for the last couple days now except for the post about needing a hug i glanced at this morning. if i had read earlier an hour ago when i ran into you i would've asked how you were doing. anyways as always if you need someone to talk to or what-have-you just give me a call.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:27 am (UTC)
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i have been much better... but i have been worse.

i am somewhere between wishing i was dead and just not caring.

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(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:30 am (UTC)
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i know that feeling pretty well i've been there for quite some time & at least i feel like it might go away when i can get the hell away from here. *smiles*

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:37 am (UTC)
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i dont think i can escape it. i envy you if you can.

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(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:40 am (UTC)
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i have the luxury of knowing what i want to be happy & i think i will win in the end. i wish you luck you in escaping, but it has been my experience that as long as you don't think you can escape you won't

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:48 am (UTC)
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i agree. it is a self-defeating argument to say you can escape though... especially if you fail.

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(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:52 am (UTC)
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i disagree with you it is life to try & fail sometimes. so if i fail no big deal i get up and try again even as much as a pain in the ass it is. i've done it before come out the feeling that has lasted over a year & i know that without a doubt i'll do it again even if it takes time. and even if it never works i'll die trying

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 11:56 am (UTC)
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i believe in reality... i dont chase fantasy.

i have too many issues inside to ever be happy... to ever escape. the minute it seems like i am succeeding, i will destroy it.

i dont feel i am worthy of being happy. to many years of doubt shoved down my throat. to many years of worthlessness stated.

you know a ton about my life... about my past. you of all people should know how much self doubt i have. you of all people, should know how worthless i feel no matter what i do to change that.

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(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Feb. 5th, 2001 12:07 pm (UTC)
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yeah i do know the amount of your life, all i'm saying is a positive attitude even if it's a lie can't hurt. and trust me (or at least try) wether you believe it or not you deserve everything in the world & if you won't believe in it yourself i will forever continue believing for you & praying that you do to.

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