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Aug. 31st, 2000 | 06:42 pm

i also have some crazy tendency to emphasize my accomplishments. most people see it as bragging or being cocky, because i have accomplished a lot. they are probably right, but after being told you are soo worthless all your life, you have a tendency to try to prove that you arent.

when i was young, i heard everything from "you dont deserve the oxygen that you breathe"... to "you should just kill yourself, it would make me happier". those were just 2 of the ones that stuck out in my mind. there are plenty more.

i have scars from being punched, hit, thrown through doors, hit with doors, and many other things. i have emotional scars, mental scars... and physical scars. i remember asking this question of my father... "if you love me so much, then why do you treat me the way you do." his response was along the lines of, "i know you will do fine in life, i dont have to worry about you, so i am making you stronger." that is fucked up logic in my eyes... let me beat you down, it will make you better... i promise. yeah, right.

anyway, i obviously survived... and i think that i have made a pretty good life for myself. sure, not everyone likes me, sure some people dislike me more than they dont care, and sure... i have done many wrong things. but, i have survived... and that is what counts right?

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