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Aug. 31st, 2000 | 01:21 pm

are you ever completely surrounded by people? are you ever in a situation that you have plenty of friends... plenty of possible romatic interests... but still feel lonely? its weird... but i almost always feel that way. maybe that is why i flirt so much, trying to make myself feel loved and wanted... :-(

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Comments {14}

(no subject)

from: jemmo
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 12:07 pm (UTC)
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you are loved & wanted

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Tim

Re:

from: visions
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:01 pm (UTC)
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i know i am.. but it just doesnt feel that way to me. i dont feel satisfied.. i dont feel complete. i guess it is because i was never loved, or shown love, as a child... and now i am trying to make up for that. maybe that is why i am a "serial dater" as you labeled me. :-\

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:)

from: pixiedash
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 01:12 pm (UTC)
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You don't have to flirt to be loved and wanted, cuz you already are.

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Tim

Re: :)

from: visions
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:05 pm (UTC)
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yeah, i know... but flirting makes me feel more loved... at least when she flirts back. "knowing" i am loved, just isnt enough for me... i want to see it... feel it... experience it.

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Re: :)

from: pixiedash
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:17 pm (UTC)
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But you don't get what you want with flirting, do you? It's just innocent fun...

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Tim

Re: :)

from: visions
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:42 pm (UTC)
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no, i dont really... but at least it momentarily makes me feel better.

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Re: :)

from: ex_debgirl0
date: Sep. 1st, 2000 12:04 pm (UTC)
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yeah... you need that constant reassurance.

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Tim

Re: :)

from: visions
date: Sep. 1st, 2000 01:11 pm (UTC)
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yeah, i definitely agree with that.

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I hear you brother!!!!!

from: ex_debgirl0
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 01:37 pm (UTC)
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me too me too me too me too

i think it's a condition

maybe we should start a support group

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(Deleted comment)

Tim

Re: I hear you brother!!!!!

from: visions
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:11 pm (UTC)
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i am not so sure that is what she wants... what she is looking for. at least, that is not what i am looking for. to just hear.. "i love you" is partially enough, but as they say.. actions speak louder than words. a hug is partially a reassurance of the statement, but not totally an afirmation since a hug can easily be contrived.

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Tim

Re: I hear you brother!!!!!

from: visions
date: Aug. 31st, 2000 04:09 pm (UTC)
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well, what kind of support would you want? someone to talk to? someone to flirt with? someone that shows you the love they have for you? someone to make love to? maybe the solution isnt one person though, maybe it is two or three.. or perhaps ten or twenty.

for me, i guess it is a matter of not really knowing what it is that i want, or being sure of what it is that is missing. if i knew that, it may help... but sadly, i dont. i can only guess... and then test those hypothesis.

maybe talking about it would help... what is it you feel? what is it that you think you are lacking? maybe you and i are the same?

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Re: I hear you brother!!!!!

from: ex_debgirl0
date: Sep. 1st, 2000 12:03 pm (UTC)
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well, for me at least, deep inside i feel undeserving of that love so that whenever i receive it, i disregard it as bullshit (hence me feeling alone often). But yet I am constantly desiring it and go out of my ways to get the attention because, although i subconsciously feel it's not sincere, it's at least something.

but as soon as i feel that the person is serious, i push it away and sabotage it...

it's a conundrum i deal with often

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Tim

Re: I hear you brother!!!!!

from: visions
date: Sep. 1st, 2000 01:12 pm (UTC)
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i am the same way sometime, but i am not sure if i feel that i dont deerve it. i think it is more me feeling like i dont have it, and i soo badly want it.

maybe it is a feeling of "wanting more"... maybe i am greedy?

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