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my dream

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Oct. 8th, 2004 | 11:12 am

once the moon passed
the darkness slid through the heavy sky
trying to find something to grab hold
tearing through its hands
the burns settle like thorns
burying themselves with deep disdain
holding strong
like a silken thread
i grasp
for the life i want
for the dream that slides effortlessly by

i cry as i am forced to let go
releasing myself from the bindings
my own tether
this dream was not meant to be had
the scars
the burns
they are each their own tomb
holding the live and the dead

i settle in slumber
silently waiting for the sun to rise
to bask with renewed vigor
i see nothing that opens my eyes

in the end
i wake up
only to die

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Comments {45}

SoulAngel 6

hehe

from: astralscorp_13
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 04:56 pm (UTC)
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awsome

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Tim

Re: hehe

from: visions
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 07:13 pm (UTC)
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awesome is an interesting response.

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SoulAngel 6

Re: hehe

from: astralscorp_13
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 07:27 pm (UTC)
Link

I'm an interesting person

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SoulAngel 6

Re: hehe

from: astralscorp_13
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 07:28 pm (UTC)
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just your dream sounded like a poem lol kind of
it sounded atristic

I liked how you wrote it

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Tim

Re: hehe

from: visions
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
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it is a poem

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SoulAngel 6

Re: hehe

from: astralscorp_13
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 09:00 pm (UTC)
Link

lol tht explains it then

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SoulAngel 6

Re: hehe

from: astralscorp_13
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 09:01 pm (UTC)
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hey wanna add me I like your stuff you write its awsome

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(no subject)

from: artfullywhole
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 10:53 pm (UTC)
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"heavy sky"
That's an interesting description. An enjoyable piece.

Odd, but I like the sense of despair it has.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 11:03 pm (UTC)
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thanks. i am glad you like it. i havent really wrote anything in that format before.

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(no subject)

from: artfullywhole
date: Oct. 8th, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC)
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I like that type of writing. It's just like writing your actual thoughts down-- not a lot of hoopla involved. I like normal poetry as well, but something of a meaning is lost inside the tight rhyme schemes, I think.
You did very well with the free verse-type format.

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gentlerose

Happened again!

from: gentlerose
date: Oct. 9th, 2004 10:11 am (UTC)
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I forgot to copy my comment and once again LJ ate it for breakfast I guess.

If I were able to rewrite what I wrote earlier, I would be happy to do it, but it is 6:10 am here, and I have not had a wink of sleep. Perhaps tomorrow, I will say more.

One thing I can tell you, keep writing!

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Tim

Re: Happened again!

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2004 09:11 pm (UTC)
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heh. lj just doesnt like you.

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gentlerose

Re: Happened again!

from: gentlerose
date: Oct. 9th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC)
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Very possibly true. It may also have something to do with my installing XPSP2. The prep for that is unending. May still have a few more kinks to work out, also have a few more updates to add. :o(

But, I do love your writing!

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Tim

Re: Happened again!

from: visions
date: Oct. 10th, 2004 12:56 am (UTC)
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well, i suppose it all works then.

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nice

from: ficklecreature
date: Oct. 9th, 2004 08:29 pm (UTC)
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wow. i really like your poem. you really put a lot of emotion in this that made me understand exactly what you were saying...
i hope you continue to enter your poems and stuff, i would really like to see more of your work.

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Tim

Re: nice

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2004 09:11 pm (UTC)
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thanks. i write when i feel i have something to say. so there will be more i assure you.

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SuperStar

(no subject)

from: bench
date: Oct. 11th, 2004 12:29 am (UTC)
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BEAUTIFUL!

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 11th, 2004 05:32 am (UTC)
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thanks, glad you liked it.

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gentlerose

This was what I wanted to say and ask the other night, when LJ wouldn't let me comment.

from: gentlerose
date: Oct. 12th, 2004 07:45 am (UTC)
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But even now LJ is giving me problems sending it to you, but one thing I have is patience! (You think #4 is the lucky one?)

The darkness, you seem to want to hold onto, yet it slips away, causing you pain, because what you thought, or believed in, has slipped away from you.

Being unable to hold onto whatever, or whomever you wanted, it will cause you so much pain, that to wake, will leave you alone with no reason to wake from this last piece of your dream. It is the last connection you will have. And waking will destroy that feeling?

I am only trying to interpret to myself, what you wrote, and as I am going through a bad period in my live right now, I was wondering if that was pretty much your feelings as you wrote the words?

If not, art can be interpretted in many ways. I would like if you don't mind, telling me what your thoughts were at the time you wrote it. I know it can be a very private feeling or though, so if you would rather not, I understand.

Whatever the interpretation of the word, the poem was heartfelt for me. Thank you!

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Tim

Re: This was what I wanted to say and ask the other night, when LJ wouldn't let me comment.

from: visions
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 03:09 am (UTC)
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i dont think i could ever truly explain everything that goes into my poems. i write for others as much as i write for myself.

my poem is meant as much for you as it is for me.

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gentlerose

Re: This was what I wanted to say and ask the other night, when LJ wouldn't let me comment.

from: gentlerose
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 10:29 pm (UTC)
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I has supposed that would be the case. It's just that I believe, in order to be able to write such a beautiful piece of poetry, that you must have felt it somewhere, sometime in your life. Perhaps there was something subconsciously that you felt, unknowingly, that gave you the impetus to write it.

I should leave things like this alone and stop trying to analyze it, and just appreciate it for what it is. It is just that my mind works over the words, and sometimes I see a small part of what was in the writers heart, or a least I think I do.

Somehow, just reading poetry, is not enough in itself. It has meant something to the poet in order to be written. To me, a mystery to unravel perhaps, to find in poems that touch me, to become Sherlock Holmes, and unlock the mystery.

I am truly sorry if my trying to analyze your words, perhaps annoy you. If I am, please let me know and I will stop (or at least keep my thoughts to myself)!

rose

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Tim

Re: This was what I wanted to say and ask the other night, when LJ wouldn't let me comment.

from: visions
date: Oct. 21st, 2004 02:12 am (UTC)
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one can never write something about anything that they know nothing about.

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(no subject)

from: _cupcake86
date: Oct. 14th, 2004 04:22 am (UTC)
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hey,
I really liked this. I can really relate to how you feel. and you seem cute
love always me

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 14th, 2004 05:40 am (UTC)
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thanks

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You

from: way2gd2btru
date: Oct. 14th, 2004 11:10 pm (UTC)
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Hey......
I am simply an anonymous voyuer who enjoys reading your thoughts. I feel like i'm somehow guilty for prying into your life without permission, so i thought id announce myself - as the peeping tom that i have become :)
I hope u keep up the writing.

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Tim

Re: You

from: visions
date: Oct. 15th, 2004 05:37 am (UTC)
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well, hello there. and i am glad you like my writing.

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black_rainbow87

(no subject)

from: black_rainbow87
date: Oct. 15th, 2004 12:09 pm (UTC)
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i really like this poem...i haven't been reading your stuff in a while...i thought i'd check it out again and then there was this new one! and i love it! i love all the imagery!
keep it up!

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 15th, 2004 02:24 pm (UTC)
Link

thanks

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(no subject)

from: __resuscitate
date: Oct. 18th, 2004 07:08 pm (UTC)
Link

new journal: crownofstorms

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 18th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)
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addded

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No Angel

(no subject)

from: no___angel
date: Oct. 18th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)
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amazing journal. keep up the creative intensity!

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 18th, 2004 09:17 pm (UTC)
Link

thanks

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No Angel

(no subject)

from: no___angel
date: Oct. 19th, 2004 12:19 am (UTC)
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anytime

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 03:12 am (UTC)
Link

how about now?

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No Angel

(no subject)

from: no___angel
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 05:31 am (UTC)
Link

what did you have in mind?

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 05:52 pm (UTC)
Link

another smile?

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No Angel

(no subject)

from: no___angel
date: Oct. 21st, 2004 01:48 am (UTC)
Link

:)

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your cute

from: bluepixiy
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 12:33 pm (UTC)
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i love what you wrote keep it up dont stop you seem to have something. also your very cute k.i.t talk to you later ok

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Tim

Re: your cute

from: visions
date: Oct. 20th, 2004 05:53 pm (UTC)
Link

haha. thanks. i have my moments.

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roxy

(no subject)

from: crownofstorms
date: Nov. 5th, 2004 12:12 am (UTC)
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very nice. :)

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 5th, 2004 04:10 am (UTC)
Link

was that the sorta thing you were looking for?

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roxy

(no subject)

from: crownofstorms
date: Nov. 5th, 2004 07:49 pm (UTC)
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more or less, yes.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 5th, 2004 10:04 pm (UTC)
Link

thats good. :)

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your poems are wonderful

from: ghettogodess
date: Apr. 4th, 2005 12:58 am (UTC)
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i like your poems they seem like they come from the heart and not just ideas written on paper. i can relate to some of the poems you have written you should keep up the work. i really like how you write your poems as if they come from the heart but they flow as if it was just words spilling out of the mind makin each poem beautiful and original.

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Tim

Re: your poems are wonderful

from: visions
date: Apr. 4th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
Link

thanks, they are very much from the heart.

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