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Oct. 9th, 2003 | 02:54 am
mood: what do you think my mood is?

i thought i would post to say that i am doing okay, but then i would really be lying. seeing her and not being able to talk to her or listen to her or even acknowledge her... hurts so fucking much.

step one, stop crying over her.
step two, ah.. who the fuck am i kidding. i can't even make it past step 1.

anyway, i guess on a better note.. i ran into an old college friend tonight. it was good seeing kyle again. sadly though, i spent 90% of my conversation time with him... talking about her. surprise suprise.

i hate that i still love her and she doesn't give a shit about me.

*sigh*

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Comments {28}

lolsmite

(no subject)

from: scarreddreamer
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 01:43 am (UTC)
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[huggles]

I do understand what you're going through. [glares at a certain person he knows] I hope things improve for you.. though I know it's a long road ahead.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:32 pm (UTC)
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thanks.

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Darling Nikki

(no subject)

from: darlingnikki02
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 06:56 am (UTC)
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Time, sweetie. Give it time.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:33 pm (UTC)
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that is what i wanted to do.

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(no subject)

from: xcandylandx
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 01:41 pm (UTC)
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Love is something that can't be defined, when you tell someone you love them you already know someones going to get their heart broken.. If you know you really love that girl, start over and be her friend again. Don't waste your tears unless you know its true. Everything will work itself out because everything happens for a reason.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:34 pm (UTC)
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i tried. she doesnt want to be friends anymore because it is too hard to get over me that way or something. :(

i don't want her to get over me damnit. i don't want to get over her.

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(no subject)

from: xcandylandx
date: Oct. 18th, 2003 02:36 pm (UTC)
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i know you dont want her to get over you or you get over her but sometimes thats just whats best it will be ok just tell yourself that everyday

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 18th, 2003 06:19 pm (UTC)
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well, there isnt a choice, so yes.. i have to be okay.

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Kerrie

(no subject)

from: thisipromiseu03
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 04:13 pm (UTC)
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Sweetie, I dont know what to say to make you feel better because there really isnt a miracle cure. I can tell you that the only thing that made me feel better was nursing my wounds and taking things how they come day to day. Things will get better in time. At least for your sake I hope so.

"Remember...somewhere there is someone dreaming of your smile,who finds in your presence that life is worth while,so remember this everytime your feeling blue,somebody somewhere is thinking of you"
*~*Kerrie*~*

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:34 pm (UTC)
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somebody. i wish.

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I'll be the greatest fan of your life

(no subject)

from: cutting2deep
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 07:04 pm (UTC)
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(Hugs)

Awwww...sweetie...I'm sorry..Just give it some time.I've been through this, you'll make it through.mend the friendship first, then mend the relationship.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:35 pm (UTC)
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she wont let me be her friend though. :(

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I'll be the greatest fan of your life

(no subject)

from: cutting2deep
date: Oct. 10th, 2003 07:29 pm (UTC)
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awww.... she'll come around...i'm gonna go back and read some past entries.I just started reading so i don't know exactly what's been happening...

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 13th, 2003 08:19 pm (UTC)
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sadly, i don't think she will.

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(no subject)

from: datbobjo
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 07:14 pm (UTC)
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I know you love her. But having read your journal and typed at you elsewhere, I believe you are expecting too much too soon. Let yourself go through the grief process. It's going to fucking hurt like hell, like it does right now. Also know that this pain will not forever be this acute or this overwhelming. You don't want to hear this. Tune me out if you must. It will get better. It won't be in way you expect it to be or when. Let this hurt. We are here for you to fall back on.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:36 pm (UTC)
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thanks bobbie. the thing is, all i wanted was us to keep open our channel of communication, even if it was only email.

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(Deleted comment)

Tim

Re: so sorry honey!

from: visions
date: Oct. 9th, 2003 10:40 pm (UTC)
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thanks for the kind words.

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Sheila

(no subject)

from: singer4life
date: Oct. 10th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
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Love is a process which we all go through and u will overcome it eventually until the end Live life the fullest:)

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 13th, 2003 08:21 pm (UTC)
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yeah, a process that hurts sometimes.

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Sheila

(no subject)

from: singer4life
date: Oct. 14th, 2003 07:38 am (UTC)
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yes of course it hurts if it didn't it wouldn't be called love

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Adrienne

(no subject)

from: teepyiggy
date: Oct. 10th, 2003 02:42 pm (UTC)
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how do I download a client?

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 13th, 2003 08:22 pm (UTC)
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http://lj_win32.livejournal.com/

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(no subject)

from: gratifyingraine
date: Oct. 10th, 2003 03:50 pm (UTC)
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I'm really sorry to hear that you're taking it so hard. You seem like a nice guy, I don't know why anybody would break up with you anyway.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Oct. 13th, 2003 08:23 pm (UTC)
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i am a nice guy, but that isn't enough. a relationship takes so much more than just being nice. our relationship had its problems, i just wish we could have worked them out.

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Shellz

My two cents

from: shellzbellz25
date: Oct. 12th, 2003 08:16 pm (UTC)
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Well.. this is the first time I have read your entries. I must say you seem like a kind, heartfelt person. On the subject of your ex... Sometimes it's hard to let things go, especially when you put so much of your time, effort, and yourself into someone. Yet sometimes that's what you really need to do to move on. I could sit here and tell you that it's all going to be alright and fill your head with lots of nonsense, but I won't. It hurts. It will probably hurt for a while. You will probably compare every girl you meet to her for a long time to come, but there is a silver lining. It's an experience in your life. Experiences like these shape a person. They help you learn and grow as a human being with feelings and emotions. Maybe it's better that you don't see her just yet because you guys will only end up being a crutch for eachother, a security blanket if you will. You need to stand on your own two feet, and figure out how you can make yourself happy. =)

Shell

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Tim

Re: My two cents

from: visions
date: Oct. 13th, 2003 08:24 pm (UTC)
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i am happy as myself... but i was happier with her. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her... nothing can make someone happier than that.

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Meghan

Response kinda late

from: dumbblonde82
date: Jan. 22nd, 2004 03:19 pm (UTC)
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I know that this entry is old, but hell, it kinda touched me. If you ever read into my journals, you'll come to find that Nick totally ruined me, or at least for awhile. I was head over heels and could've married him and birthed his children, but yet all he thought I was into was his money. What a fool. I know in my heart I am better off without him, but the pain is still very very close to the surface and it still hurts to see him or talk to him. But this too shall pass and hopefully one day I can feel that way towards someone who feels the same for me, and hopefully it will happen for you too!

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Tim

Re: Response kinda late

from: visions
date: Jan. 22nd, 2004 03:39 pm (UTC)
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I have confidence it will.

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