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Jun. 24th, 2002 | 09:52 pm

as you step away... hiding, running, painting a facade that you will display... i watch. not from up close, not from afar, but still watching you like a shooting star.

you do not know i am there, that i understand what it is that you are doing, that i know why. but really, you dont care.

you say that today i will love you and tommorrow that you will be gone. yet you sit there, still here from yesterday... still in sight for me to see. how can that be?

you are not mine. you may never be. but this is a gap that you hide behind, a gap that others cannot see.

hide yourself. flee. if you dont, others may see the beauty that lies underneath... the beauty that i see.

... i just feel lost i guess.

i walk around in the shadows of the light thinking about day.. thinking about night. this world in which i have grown seems foreign... seems unknown. i sit here trying to figure out why it is that i speak when i dont really have anything to say... and as a result, why it is that i have nothing to say when there is so much on my mind.

to think about something that is just out of grasp. something that you cant quite get.. cant quite understand. why? striving for the knowledge? trying to learn?

sometimes i think my approach is just wrong. sometimes my attitude sucks. is there something wrong with that though? am i not allowed to have those days? who knows. i dont.

today i was thinking about something but i dont know what it was. there was something that desperately needed figured out.. determined.. but for the life of me i cant recall. shambles. my life.

hrm. why would one person talk to another for no reason at all? sometimes that happens... doesnt it? is that strange? to walk up to a complete stranger and just say hello.. for no reason, or with no provocation or agenda? am i weird for doing that? what about the net? *sigh*

sometimes i think i am helpless to my own accord. i cannot control who i am, but i am what i make myself be. if that makes sense, please explain it to me.

maybe if i close my eyes.. i will see you. my dreams will be clear. my words could then be reality... for now though, i walk alone... standing in the dark... wondering where... how... this entire mood had started.

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Comments {10}

hey

from: glittery_dreamz
date: Jun. 24th, 2002 09:17 pm (UTC)
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hey! i was w0ndering if you could give mee a code? or if somehow i can? thanks

PinKy

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jenne

(no subject)

from: hellloitslate
date: Jun. 24th, 2002 11:32 pm (UTC)
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life is a blurr..sending you kisses and happy thoughts..

oxox
jenny

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Cas

?

from: lifeasiknowit
date: Jun. 25th, 2002 08:09 am (UTC)
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one question, why is it that everytime i login on my computer and swith the expiration to NEVER it still asks me for my name a nd password for everythign i do. even to post a comment i have to RETYPE my data. grrr!

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Cas

: /

from: lifeasiknowit
date: Jun. 25th, 2002 08:18 am (UTC)
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:::holds your hand:::
it will be alright. i, myself have those envisioned thoguhts wandering around inside my head also. the darkness and lonleyness will pass, it always does.
:)

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Tim

Re: : /

from: visions
date: Jun. 28th, 2002 06:57 pm (UTC)
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sometimes i wonder...

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Cas

Re: : /

from: lifeasiknowit
date: Jul. 5th, 2002 07:55 am (UTC)
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wondering is good...

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Tim

Re: : /

from: visions
date: Jul. 5th, 2002 05:57 pm (UTC)
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depends on what you wonder about. it sounds like you had a good vacation.

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Cas

Re: : /

from: lifeasiknowit
date: Jul. 5th, 2002 08:19 pm (UTC)
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it has its ups and downs... :/

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to know me is to LOVE me

I'm here

from: j3nny
date: Jun. 26th, 2002 04:40 pm (UTC)
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Tim! Hey - if you need to talk, IM me, I'm here if you need support, advice, or like I said, just need to talk, to feel the security of someone elses essence within yours, I'm here :D

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Lysa

you'll never believe it....

from: lysa
date: Jun. 26th, 2002 08:14 pm (UTC)
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we spent 15 mins looking for a parking spot and had to park 2 blocks away, by the time we got in, we were notified that 3/4ths of us were underage, so no go. how about that for luck...

well thanks for the invite though...talk to you on AIM later. :)

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