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Nov. 1st, 2001 | 02:55 am

twice now in this week.

i cut.

now i bleed. bleed.

all because of kathy. all because i am a failure.

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Comments {23}

jaded

(no subject)

from: flown
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 10:21 am (UTC)
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=(

cutting is bad. don't. please.

yes im a hypocrite. please stop.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:48 pm (UTC)
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i stopped. i hadn't done that in years.

and frankly, no girl is worth me doing it again.

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Winnie

(no subject)

from: festiva
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 10:24 am (UTC)
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.....................
=(

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:51 pm (UTC)
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*hug*

all is okay.

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(no subject)

from: jibril
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 10:25 am (UTC)
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you are blaming her?

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:49 pm (UTC)
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i am blaming her for how she made me feel last night. yes.

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(no subject)

from: jibril
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 10:31 am (UTC)
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are you really blaming her? Well stop it. JUST STOP IT. Do you think this is really helping either one of you? I dont think so. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with your life. I know you are a good person and have so much to look forward to still. The more you feel sorry for yourself the more you will get stuck living in the past. I've seen too many people do that already and they end up bitter and resentful. Do you want to end up like that? I don't think so.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:50 pm (UTC)
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feeling sorry for myself?

YOU of all pepole, have no room to talk. Think of the numerous times i consoled you. Think of the numerous times that you were sad and I made you smile.

YOU of all people, have no room to talk to me the way you are.

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dreamland

(no subject)

from: dreamland
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 01:13 pm (UTC)
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AHHH!!! OK! Enough is enough! This is all getting out of hand. All we're doing is defending ourselves because everyone one of us thinks we (ourselves) are right and the others are all wrong.

We have differences and instead of solving the problem we're engaging ourselves in this verbal battle. We have to try to understand each other unless you're just going to keep yelling at each other. whew! Alright. I see how you're feeling. You felt you had everything and then BAM it's like I turned around and just walked away leaving you there and hanging. You're wondering, "what went wrong? what happened?" so you're feeling pain, hurt. And how there were so many times I couldn't talk to you, I had so much on my mind. Well, I knew some things I had to say... what way you'd take them, just like last night. And that's exactly what happened.

No, ok. Yes, I understand. I predicted it. But I was trying to let you understand... just like you should let me understand. Instead we're all just screaming at each other and trying to prove why we (ourselves) are more "right/correct" than the other person over all this...

ALL OF US have to sit down, calm down, and settle it straight...

unless you just want to leave it hanging, put it out of your mind and go on w/ life you're own way, which is fine too, depending on how you (as in all of us as individuals, i'm NOT pointing fingers at anyone) "solve" problems.

And like above, ya. You're right. It's not worth it to cut yourself over any girl, especially me. I don't think I'm worth that much. Ya, like your friends say, so I can be a "bitch" at times.

I'm learning too. This is new to me... I was always the passive one, so I'm trying to be stronger (as a person in general). I need to grow up (mature) and learn things too. Heck! I'm only 19... I'm still a baby in so many ways and I'll still make EXTREMELY STUPID and irrational decisions and I'm sorry about that. Sometimes I'll say things before I get the chance to think enough over a situation (you all know how I can talk too fast and I talk too loud too *sheepish smile*) but anyway... ya. I still have growing up to do... and I've been so busy w/ work I haven't had as much time to really sit down and think what it is that I want, what it is that bugs me so, and what it is I'm doing here...

Sometimes in life you make the same mistakes over and over and over again too... *tries hard to break out of the cycle* thinking about some things, I think I'm making some of the same mistakes again. argh. So I need to calm down to... to think more rationally about all this.

Hopefully we can try to stop this verbal war? I'm sorry we can't do anything about this physically (as in, in person) since we're 2000+ miles apart, right? But before we keep pointing more fingers at each other... we should try to think about this all more thoroughly and step into each other's shoes as well. So I'll do that. Put myself in your shoes and go through the emotions your going through...

*mentally bogged down* I'm sorry! Sorry! Sincerely apologize, but I really need to get through my midterm (tomorrow) and my program (try to finish tonight/tomorrow. ahh!!) first and then I'll relax, sit down and really think ALL of this over very carefully and thoroughly...

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 01:22 pm (UTC)
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dont bother. i am done with this conversation.

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dreamland

(no subject)

from: dreamland
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 02:53 pm (UTC)
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well, ok. you said it.

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(no subject)

from: jibril
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 03:37 pm (UTC)
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"twice now in this week.

i cut.

now i bleed. bleed.

all because of kathy. all because i am a failure."

hope you realize your not a failure.

Friends defend each other. I am kathy's friend.

have a nice life.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 03:54 pm (UTC)
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nice to know you are two faced.

bye.

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(no subject)

from: xo19
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:18 pm (UTC)
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*sigh*

*hugs*

now, take it from someone who knows. this isnt the way out :(. i guess i shouldnt be preeching when i'm in the same situation right now. you'll get through it.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 12:51 pm (UTC)
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*nod*

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Robin

(no subject)

from: soul_of_tears
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 03:34 pm (UTC)
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your not a failure, your far from it...

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 05:59 pm (UTC)
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yeah, i have done a lot in my life. *sigh*

"sometimes i feel like a nut.. sometimes i dont"

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rusbar

(no subject)

from: rusbar
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 07:33 pm (UTC)
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you son of a bitch, you're such an ass

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 1st, 2001 10:52 pm (UTC)
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go elsewhere. your comments are not desired.

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rusbar

Re:

from: rusbar
date: Nov. 2nd, 2001 09:02 am (UTC)
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hey, that's what you get for posting shit like this online.

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(no subject)

from: bebha
date: Nov. 2nd, 2001 04:52 am (UTC)
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fuck off...

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(no subject)

from: bebha
date: Nov. 2nd, 2001 04:53 am (UTC)
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baby! no, no, no.
and a *hug* just 'cause.

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Tim

(no subject)

from: visions
date: Nov. 2nd, 2001 10:41 am (UTC)
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*hug*

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