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Oct. 1st, 2001 | 11:56 pm

i think that i am in love with "love". i am not in love.. but i wish i was... i would love to be... but im not. the harsh reality of the matter is that i am alone... and washed up in something that sits between utter loneliness and absolute content. i was in love.. but now i am alone.

how does that work? is it me that falls in and out of love? is love really that slippery that it escapes my grasp? hrm.. perhaps it has a slimy coating.. but could you wash it off? some people can.. don't they? i mean.. they are in love... stay in love... don't they?

love runs from me... escapes me. i must smell bad.

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Comments {15}

dreamland

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from: dreamland
date: Oct. 1st, 2001 10:05 pm (UTC)
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No, don't say that. Sometimes people change... but the love you had will never be forgotten.

Sometimes time changes and people age... and also love comes in it's many different ways.

We all love being "in love" and we all love attention, companionship, just not being alone... we all despise complete loneliness...

but yes... it depends how you see love. it depends how you feel love.... because as it comes in many different shapes and forms, the way you feel love is usually different then how another person feels love...

you really have to search deep down in your heart... it will tell you, you will feel it when you really truly love... it's a crazy ppl. it's usually mistaken a lot too... "what is love? what is love?" sometimes lust is confused for love. sometimes loneliness is confused for love. sometimes a lot of pampering is confused for love as well....
and i don't know what i'm going off on a tangent saying anymore...
i guess i'm just as confused because love runs from me too... well not my heart, my heart doesn't usually run... it's the person i love that does... =( *sigh* so i learn to move on.

but, anyway. *huggies* take care of yourself, ok, sweety? miss you tons. *kissies*

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 1st, 2001 10:12 pm (UTC)
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i didnt run :(

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(no subject)

from: carriegurl
date: Oct. 1st, 2001 10:19 pm (UTC)
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Love is something that you create in your mind. It is a combination of several different things including being comfortable with someone. When you are no longer with that person that comfort diminishes. I can understand what you mean by being in love with the idea of love. Being alone isnt fun, and this creates a senario in your head that you need to be loved...found your journal in sextips hope thats cool thought I would come over and say salut...sorry about the spelling errors its late here..

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 1st, 2001 10:28 pm (UTC)
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love can be very tangible too.

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helena.

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from: tootsie_roll
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 04:23 pm (UTC)
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love can be very shitty, too. which i'm learning for the second time in my life.

the one thing i dislike about love is that it catches us off guard. we're living life one minute, and then *wham* we can't live without someone. returning to our kosher life-without-love is the hardest part.

i know it is for me :o/

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 05:33 pm (UTC)
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its kinda like a traumatic event... irrepriable damage that you never truly recover from.

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helena.

Re:

from: tootsie_roll
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 05:55 pm (UTC)
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true, true.

i constantly compare new interests, if you will, to the only 2 boys who have ever had my heart. it sucks.

it always stays in the back of yer mind.

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Screamin' Sam

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from: screamingnympho
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 02:02 am (UTC)
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I have been told that many times, by astrology books. That because of the date of my birth, I am the sort of person that will fall in love with the idea of being in love, rather than falling in love with the person instead.

I don't think that love runs from you. Or me. Or anyone.

It could just be that we aren't ready for it, and everything that it involves.

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from: jaysmcnasty
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 04:24 pm (UTC)
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If love leaves you so easily then you were never really in love, a lot of people think they are in love when really they just lust for someone.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 05:35 pm (UTC)
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i strongly disagree with you. love and lust are very discernably different... especially for me. if it was lust, i wouldnt shed a tear.

there is much more to moving on than just "love leaving". it takes a strong person to recover from the loss of love. it takes a strong will to continue on with your life.

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(no subject)

from: jaysmcnasty
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 05:58 pm (UTC)
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I worded that wrong im sorry...Maybe YOU were in love but the other person wasn't, is what i ment.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 2nd, 2001 09:17 pm (UTC)
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i think she would strongly disagree with you.

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(no subject)

from: jaysmcnasty
date: Oct. 3rd, 2001 11:53 am (UTC)
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I'm just giving you my opinion you can disagree with me its fine but i just feel that if both of you were really in love with each other it wouldn't have left you so easily.

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Tim

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from: visions
date: Oct. 3rd, 2001 05:49 pm (UTC)
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try 2000+ miles between the 2 of us for at least the next 3 years.

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from: bebha
date: Oct. 3rd, 2001 01:31 am (UTC)
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i'm desperately in love with love's existance....

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